Where We're Meant To Be
by how-i-met-my-otp
Summary: I don't know about all of you, but I was beyond unhappy with the finale. It felt necessary to write a continuation of what I think could've happened afterwards. It personally made it a lot easier to cope with, and I really hope it provides others comfort as it did for me.
1. Chapter 1

Robin smiled down at the man with the blue French horn. She remembered how he had always loved her, in what, at that point in time, felt like the best possible way. He idealized her. And he didn't need her to have kids to be happy because he already had two of them. She, or at least the Robin in his head that he had fallen in love with all those years ago, was exactly what he wanted. She needed that. After the time she had spent apart from those who were once her best friends she needed to feel idealized and loved and anything but alone. In that moment, Ted Mosby was exactly who she needed, and like he always had been, he was the perfectly rational choice.

He rushed up to her apartment, kissing her immediately upon arrival, mirroring their actions from when they had first gotten together with almost too much accuracy. It was Robin who pulled away, even after the years she had spent without any intimacy, the kiss didn't feel right.

"Ted, we can't do this." Tears began to form in her eyes, "I don't love you anymore, and you don't love me anymore. We can't just pretend. We're not the same people we used to be. And, for a second I think we both thought we could go back in time and be those people because it'd be so much simpler that way, but we have to face the truth. You can't delete these past years and you can't delete her death from your memory."

Ted sighed, sitting down on her couch. "You're right. I guess I just thought if I could pretend that none of this happened I might be able to be okay. You'd think after six years I'd be okay, but I'm not. I was always such an optimist, but I can't help feeling lost without her."

"I'm so sorry." Robin said, at what felt like a complete loss for words. She understood how he felt more than she could ever explain.

He laughed, half-heartedly. "It's almost funny how many times I woke up expecting to be serenaded by her breakfast foods, how many times I came home to an empty apartment waiting for her to greet me. It's like I've forgotten how to live without her. And I want to call her and see her and be with her, but she's just gone now. I don't know how to even begin to accept that."

Robin wanted to sit down beside Ted and comfort him, offer some words of advice or condolence. But more than all of that, she wanted to leave. His words made her realize that she still had a chance. She felt awful that his pain had given her such hope. It just felt wrong to continue to allow what she and Barney had to fade into the past, just as it had felt wrong to kiss Ted when she knew, deep down, that she was meant to be kissing someone else. Barney was still alive, and so was she. And it was in that moment that she decided that as long as they both remain that way, she would never again give up.

She looked at Ted sympathetically, "I understand, I really do, but everything that you're feeling… I'm not the solution to any of that. I need to go." And without another word, she left her apartment, stepping outside and hailing the first cab to come her way.

* * *

Robin arrived at Barney's apartment, taking a few deep breaths before hesitantly knocking on the door. It swung open, and he stood across from her in disbelief. Neither of them moved at first, only stared at each other.

"Robin…" He began to form words in his head, none of them the ones he wanted to say. He chose to ignore rationality, to forget of the unfortunate distance that had grown between them, and instead wrap his arms tightly around her. "I've missed you so much."

She hugged him back, never wanting to let go. "I've missed you too." She replied all too honestly, and without another thought or another word, she kissed him. She kissed him the same way she had thought about kissing him every day since their marriage ended, with all the warmth and passion and love she had millions of times before.

He pulled away reluctantly. "Robin, what are we doing?" The sensible side of him came through.

"I don't- I don't know. Okay? I'm just sick of this and I'm sick of wasting all this time not being with you. I've missed you more than you can even begin to imagine." She said, raising her voice."

"But I can imagine, because I've been going through the exact same thing as you. It's just," he hesitated, relaxing slightly. "We tried this, we failed. Why try again?"

"Because I haven't stopped thinking about you."

"I haven't stopped thinking of you either." He admitted.

"So what's the problem?" She asked, unprepared to hear an answer.

"I'm a dad now. I can't keep playing these games, we're not in our twenties anymore. We've grown up." He tried, with everything he had to sound as mature as he wanted to be.

"No. No, I can't accept that. I just can't. I still love you, and I want to be with you. If you can tell me you don't feel the same way I'll understand, but I need to know. I can't walk out that door if there's even the slightest chance that you still love me back."

"I vowed to always be honest with you." He paused, "And, even though we're not married anymore, I think I owe it to you to keep that promise."

"What does that mean?" She asked him nervously, knowing that she wouldn't be able to handle anymore unfortunate truth at the moment.

He smiled, "Robin Scherbatksy, I know it's a long shot, but will you marry me?"

"Again?" She asked, trying to hide her overwhelming joy to be hearing those words from him for the second time.

He nodded, and she nodded back. Suddenly an image came back into focus. It was an image of Barney and Robin, and Ellie, together, as a family. And they knew that wherever they travelled and whatever hurdles life threw their way, things would be okay this time around. They had come so far, and lost so much, been apart for more time than they could cope with, and after all of it, they wound up back where were always meant to be. With a single word, their lives from that point forward were changed for the better.

"Yes."


	2. Chapter 2

"And that's the story." Robin sat across from a teenaged Ellie Stinson, having just finished telling her a drastically shortened version of everything that had happened from the moment she had met Barney to the moment she had married him.

"But then what?" The girl asked. She was aware that Robin was not her biological mother, and yet over the years she had come to think of her as if she was. Ellie's actual mother, whom Barney had once referred to as number thirty-one, had not seen her since the day of her birth. She had been young when it had all happened, still in college. She and Barney had agreed to give their child up for adoption, neither of them having felt ready for the commitment.

And yet, miraculously, when he had held Ellie for the very first time, everything changed. He had decided, against all odds, to keep her.

To Robin's surprise, she had never had any problem bonding with Ellie. The two of them had grown extremely close over the years. She liked things the way they were, feeling as close to being a mother as she ever could, or would want to be.

"What do you mean?" She responded.

"Well, I know you two got married, but then what happened? I know that dad had me with someone else, and I also know he wouldn't have cheated on you, especially while you were married. A lot must've happened after…" her voice trailed off, noticing the look in Robin's eyes.

She sighed, not wanting to relive the years she had spent so isolated and without Barney. "We um, got divorced for a while. That's when he had you. We got back together a little while after that."

Robin hated thinking back to those years she spent alone. Even when she returned to NYC it had felt too differently to call home. Her old friends had moved on, and even though they met every once and a while, "the gang" became one of the last things she wanted to be a part of. She couldn't imagine herself sitting at that old booth, across from Barney, with all of them, pretending to have preserved something that had been lost so long ago. They had grown up. They had grown apart. And New York was just not the same anymore.

The days had seemed to drag on longer than she could bear. Things had been so different when she was first married. Those days, in her memory, were a blur, but she could remember having been happy. What made it worse was returning briefly, only to find out he had had a baby. In the end, supposedly the only thing that could make him truly happy was the one the she would never have been able to give him. He had meant so much to her, he even made her want things she hadn't wanted with anyone else, but at that point she came to believe that she wasn't enough for him.

With all the empty hours, she began thinking more and more how things might've ended up had she settled down with Ted. It was never something she wanted, but it occurred to her that maybe she'd have been better off. She could've had the life every other woman dreamed about, and maybe it could've eventually made her happier than she was alone.

Ted had always been a safe bet. She never would have had the same doubts that she had about Barney. From the very first day she met him, Ted had been ready to get married. And even the night before her wedding to Barney, he had been running away. It was what made their relationship so unstable. One commitment-phobe made things difficult enough, but two made things impossible. That was the way that it seemed.

And she had always trusted Ted. While Barney had lied to her at every turn, he had been reliable. She didn't have to worry with him. And even if she did, her feelings towards him had never been strong enough for him to ever hurt her the way Barney once did.

…

Robin remembered, about a month before she and Barney had gotten engaged for the second time, receiving a call.

"Hey. Robin, um, I know it's been a while, but I saw Ted earlier and he mentioned that you were back in New York. I was just wondering if you wanted to…" Barney's voice trailed off.

"Sure." She replied quietly, glad to hear his voice after what felt like forever, and yet grieved to find herself back to the awkwardness that hung between her and Barney. After everything they had, nothing hurt more than feeling like nothing more than a stranger to him. She wondered if, in the end, she really was just another number.

They met about an hour later at MacLarens's, sitting down in what used to be their regular booth and ordering two scotch on the rocks. Neither spoke at first.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Robin asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to see you. Things haven't been so great with me lately."

"Did something happen?" She asked with genuine concern.

He shook his head. "It's just that every day I feel a little bit more… broken. We both came so far before, and now I'm back where I started. The only difference is that I can't convince myself that I'm happy. I haven't been happy for a long time." Barney answered her with more honesty than he had meant to. He was always truthful with her, as he had vowed to be, but it was still so rare for him to allow those kinds of emotions to come pouring out.

"What about Ellie?" Robin asked, despite how much it stung to so much as think about his daughter.

He smiled, "She's great. She keeps me up at night, but I love her."

"I'm really happy for you." Robin forced a smile, but her slight dishonesty was all too apparent.

"Thanks." He said. "And um, how have you been?"

"Okay I guess. Things have been a little rough but, I'm fine." She lied.

"You don't have to lie to me, Robin, I know you. Remember?" He hated how closed-up she had become with him. It had taken years for her to allow her emotions to come through, even with him. Now it was like they were right back at square one. "I'm sorry that things have been hard on you lately, and I'm sorry that I haven't been there." Barney added more warmly. He couldn't stand seeing her like this.

"I don't expect you to be."

"But I want to be."

"It's fine." Since he had last seen her, she had grown colder than he ever believed to be possible. She wasn't the old Robin, despite how much she tried to be. She wasn't just independent anymore, she was isolated. At some point she had changed from a strong person, who rarely showed emotion, to one who refused to show any at all. She hadn't only grown distant in a physical sense, but an emotional one as well.

"No, it's not." He answered quickly, remembering what Ted had once told him, that whenever Robin said something was "fine" or "nothing", it meant that it really did matter to her, although it was something he had already known. "Why do we never talk anymore?"

"We did get a divorce."

"Yeah we got a divorce. That doesn't mean I just didn't want to see you ever again, because every day that I don't talk to you, it just sucks."

Robin looked at him for a moment. She had never seen him like this. Sure, he had been broken before, but not like this. It was never anything he had so much trouble hiding. He had changed just as much as she had, and just as tragically. "I'm sorry."

Barney had tried to revert back to his old self, but the emptiness that he used to be able to escape with so much ease had become too hard to ignore. Once he had had his taste of happiness, once he knew what it felt like to really love and be loved, he would never be able to really go back to his previous self.

"Why are you sorry?" He asked dismissively, looking away and taking a swig of his drink.

"I let things become so weird between us."

Barney met her gaze. "So did I. I'm sorry."

The two of them continued talking for a while, and the awkwardness and distance between them, slowly but surely, began to fade. At the end of the evening, Robin went to hail a cab, but was stopped.

"Not so fast Scherbatksy," He smiled, "I have a present for you."

"We agreed we'd stop hooking up after you-"

He laughed, "not that, unless-"

She shook her head, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, okay. Just come with me."

They split a cab back to his apartment. As she set foot in their old apartment, for what felt like the first time in forever, Robin could feel a tear threatening to fall down her cheek. She had grown more and more sentimental as the days went by, although she had learned to hide it better than before. But in all the time she spent without company, her will to stay strong wavered and faded into nothing more than a piece of her former self.

While the environment alone would have been enough to remind her of the feelings she had been working so hard to bury, what was waiting for her within the apartment certainly did the trick.

"Barney-" Robin stopped in her tracks, speechless. Sitting obediently before her were five dogs that closely resembled the ones she had had when they were only beginning their friendship.

Barney looked at her with a goofy smile, "I know how much you always missed having your dogs. I still remember how sad you were the day you gave them away."

They could both remember the day so vividly. He had held her hand, squeezing it supportively. At the time she had been puzzled by his compassion towards her, but now it made perfect sense. In the years that followed, she was one of the few people who never failed to see that side of him.

Robin returned his smile, stepping forward to hug him and whispering a "thank you". Tears began to well up in her eyes as she pulled away.

"You didn't have to do this you know." She said as she prepared to leave, although she was happy that he did.

"I wanted to. You know, just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean I don't care about you." He said with the sincerity in his voice that only came out when he spoke to her.

…

Robin hated how, over time, she had become more and more of a Ted when it came to all the universe stuff. And yet, as she looked back, she realized it all made sense, the way the events all fit together to bring her to where she was now. The dogs that he had given her that day were a small part of why she ran back to him. She had pulled her lips away from Ted's to look down at them and realize that maybe she still had one real shot at happiness left, and that it wasn't with Ted.

She remembered sitting on the couch, the morning after their second engagement, still slightly disoriented from the night before. It had only begun to sink in that she had gotten engaged to the second time to the same man as before. The engagement ring made no difference, as it was wrapped around the finger next to the one with a wedding ring, both of which she had been wearing the entire time they were apart.

Barney had walked in, sitting down beside her. Their thighs were pressed together, neither of them having to worry about keeping distance anymore. She remembered feeling comforted by the familiarity of it all, the silky material of his suit brushing against her arm, his warm hand resting on her thigh, and the surroundings, which may have seemed cold to anyone else, but to her, were home.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Ellie's sweet voice. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-".

"It's fine." Robin smiled, really meaning it this time. "Everything is okay now. More than okay."

Ellie smiled back at her, "Things are really pretty great."

"They really are." She took a deep breath, surprised at how okay she felt having just dove straight into the memories she had spent so many years in avoidance of. She had come to terms with the past, and all the heartbreak and loneliness and doubts that came with it, because it brought her to where she was today. And there wasn't a place that she would rather be.

"Look, I know the story was messy and everything, but what I figured out, somewhere in that time when he and I weren't together, is that your father always came through for me. He came through for me like no one else did, and like he did for no one else. Our story isn't perfect, but I'm glad things turned out the way they did because," Robin looked past Ellie, catching a glimpse of Barney sneaking a glance in from the hallway, realizing he must have heard their entire conversation. She smiled. "He's awesome."


End file.
